Love Thy Spouse As Thyself

Showing love for your spouse comes in many forms.  It can be the obvious – gifts, massages, the occasional card – or the less obvious, such as letting him/her have their “me-time” by escaping into their ‘cave’, their video game, a beer with friends, etc.

Then there is that third way, the way not many of us are aware of until it’s too late.  It’s in how we take care of ourselves.  Keeping ourselves attractive, healthy, and mentally and spiritually balanced, instead of constantly tired and irritable.

I used to think my husband should take me however I am, and yet I had a double standard. I still wanted him to take care of himself, not let himself go, stay attractive, and be healthy so he could live to watch our children get married.  And yet I didn’t have the same requirement for myself.

But when I stop caring about how I look or how healthy I am, isn’t that a reflection on how I feel about us as a couple, or him as my husband?  I think it is.  I think it means I am taking him for granted, assuming he will always find me attractive no matter what (my husband says he finds me attractive at times when I don’t, and proves it constantly! How’d I get to be so lucky??)

But even still, I shouldn’t take our relationship for granted, and I shouldn’t assume my good health will hold out as I do nothing to pursue a better way of eating and living.  I do love my husband.  He’s my best friend, my partner, my most honest (and kindest) critic, and someone I definitely don’t want to take for granted.

So this begs the question: exactly when am I supposed to pursue these goals?  Well, my Mommy Time-Out of course!

So to show my love for him this year, I will re-enforce my commitment to take regular Mommy Time-Outs that will feed my mind, body and soul, because the more I love myself, the more I am showing him how very much I love him!

Love Yourself Like You Love Your Children

One of many loving pictures my daughter draws for me :)

Imagine how much easier taking regular Mommy Time-Outs would be if we loved ourselves like we love our children: unconditionally, with selfless attention, and sometimes even a decent amount of patience!

For example, I can work all day long cleaning, doing laundry, playing with them, playing taxi driver, and at the end of the day, when I can finally put my feet up, it is inevitable one, or all three, will pipe up and ask me for something – a snack, help with something, or just plain conversation (to be clear, this is not a scheduled Time-Out I am taking, just end of the day winding down!).  Sometimes, yes, I get short with them and tell them mommy needs some time to herself, which inevitable leads to either pouting or all-out crying.  Other times, however, I stop having my down time, get up and shuffle about the house getting them what they need/want.

Now, if I can only treat myself regularly with the same amount of love and thoughtfulness as I treat my children! My Time-Outs would be second nature to me!

So in this month of Love, let’s all make a goal to, at least one time each week, love ourselves with the same determination and wholeheartedness that we love our children and make sure we take our much needed – and deserved – Mommy Time-Out!

Let us know how well you do, we love to hear from you!